There is no pause button

There is no pause button on life, it keeps moving. Sometimes so fast it causes a wind storm in your chest making each breath incredibly painful. You stop for brief moments to embrace the seconds with your children, your husband, pets and hobbies. Only to be taking off your feet and drug into the next […]

One step at a time

There are no words to describe what I feel today but I know that I feel doing  which includes and nothing more of eating and sleeping and perhaps quiet. I don’t want to talk or to clean or do homework and it is taking every bit of strength inside myself to just go to work […]

In the midst of peace

Leaving work I noticed the sun rise.  I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I have noticed one. Then as my ears where filled with beautiful keys of a piano I also noticed the flock of birds,  so gracefully flying in the sky. The golden sun was my peace my moment with my […]

Be kind

I find myself at peace with who I am by helping others. Although not every night is a night were I’m given the opportunity to say or do something phenomenal, I do appreciate the moments when they do come. Someone told me tonight “you always feel sorry for people, not everyone is good”. But I […]

Life’s a Mess Deal With it

Life’s a mess sometimes literally. My five year old daughter begs me to paint. I have two hours before work OK why not. I currently have a pink Chihuahua and my kitchen floor is covered in pink paw prints. Three months ago I would had a melt down I would screamed “why the hell would […]

Your more than what you think

I don’t know why I always place myself in such a low category. I don’t believe in my own abilities, talents and attributes. I second guess myself on everything. Causing more harm due to the waste of precious time. I wasn’t always like this. I remember from seventh grade to tenth being so utterly impressed […]

Struggling to Find Balance

The balance of work, school, family and me time with only 24 hours in a day. I swear someday’s i think i am one step closer to being a patient at the psyc. hospital i work at. Exhausted is an understatement. School is a priority for me because i want to do something i love. […]

My kids are my best teachers

My daughters remind me each day that forgiveness is free, they remind me of kindness and love. I often ask myself do I show them enough in return are there enough kisses are there enough hugs is there enough one on one time. The measurements I use in my disfunctional brain are unattainable of course. […]

Let them see you. .

She was scared, so was I. She thought she was bad and repeated I’m sorry over and over.  I was sitting in the chair at the end of her bed,  she is slightely older than my mother but looked strong enough to hurt me if she wanted too. But I knew she wouldn’t. What now […]

Not Knowing

I don’t know what i feel and i don’t like this but this storm will not take me down. The part of me screaming inside why me, i want free i want peace. But the rage builds and everything is aggravating i don’t want this i silently tell myself every few minutes. I want to […]