One step at a time

There are no words to describe what I feel today but I know that I feel doing  which includes and nothing more of eating and sleeping and perhaps quiet. I don’t want to talk or to clean or do homework and it is taking every bit of strength inside myself to just go to work […]

In the midst of peace

Leaving work I noticed the sun rise.  I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I have noticed one. Then as my ears where filled with beautiful keys of a piano I also noticed the flock of birds,  so gracefully flying in the sky. The golden sun was my peace my moment with my […]

Be kind

I find myself at peace with who I am by helping others. Although not every night is a night were I’m given the opportunity to say or do something phenomenal, I do appreciate the moments when they do come. Someone told me tonight “you always feel sorry for people, not everyone is good”. But I […]

Life’s a Mess Deal With it

Life’s a mess sometimes literally. My five year old daughter begs me to paint. I have two hours before work OK why not. I currently have a pink Chihuahua and my kitchen floor is covered in pink paw prints. Three months ago I would had a melt down I would screamed “why the hell would […]

Your more than what you think

I don’t know why I always place myself in such a low category. I don’t believe in my own abilities, talents and attributes. I second guess myself on everything. Causing more harm due to the waste of precious time. I wasn’t always like this. I remember from seventh grade to tenth being so utterly impressed […]

Struggling to Find Balance

The balance of work, school, family and me time with only 24 hours in a day. I swear someday’s i think i am one step closer to being a patient at the psyc. hospital i work at. Exhausted is an understatement. School is a priority for me because i want to do something i love. […]

My kids are my best teachers

My daughters remind me each day that forgiveness is free, they remind me of kindness and love. I often ask myself do I show them enough in return are there enough kisses are there enough hugs is there enough one on one time. The measurements I use in my disfunctional brain are unattainable of course. […]

Let them see you. .

She was scared, so was I. She thought she was bad and repeated I’m sorry over and over.  I was sitting in the chair at the end of her bed,  she is slightely older than my mother but looked strong enough to hurt me if she wanted too. But I knew she wouldn’t. What now […]

Not Knowing

I don’t know what i feel and i don’t like this but this storm will not take me down. The part of me screaming inside why me, i want free i want peace. But the rage builds and everything is aggravating i don’t want this i silently tell myself every few minutes. I want to […]