The past week has been rough. As tidlewaves engrossed in depression kept rising on the shores of my life it kept every bit of strength i had to not get caught under the wave to be drowned by its pain. The worst part of the storm is the feeling of utter loneliness. You want to talk about it because you need someone to understand, to say they love you, someone to make you feel alive when it feels like everything inside you is dieing. But you don’t say anything because your convinced that no one will understand. In those moments of sheer hell there’s only one thing in this world that eases my suffering, one touch, one kiss, that causes fire to run though my veins. It awakens my soul and in that moment of death I feel alive. Like the first radiating sun beam after a hellish rain shower; my soul ignites ever fiber of my body and the warmth begins to graze my skin like summer heat. I realize then that I’m in love, I’m exposed, vulnerable, and so in love.
A heart so guarded, a heart so broken, that could still love with such an extremity is nothing short of amazing.
I dreamed of soul mates, true love, and fairytale romance my entire life. Today I thought none of that exists. In moments of feeling let down and hurt. I thought I need to let go of my childish thinking because life just isn’t like that. But then i realized if I feel it then how could it not be real?