One step at a time

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There are no words to describe what I feel today but I know that I feel doing  which includes and nothing more of eating and sleeping and perhaps quiet. I don’t want to talk or to clean or do homework and it is taking every bit of strength inside myself to just go to work today. I am tired, my internal tank is full of medications and caffeine and I think my body is at the breaking point.

Medications aren’t the only culprit in need for sleep frenzy, I know a lot of it is I eat unhealthy foods, I don’t exercise and I drink enough caffeine to supply a small coffee shop. Where is my husband? On all days I need him to be home to quiet the chaos and take care of me he is out and about. I couldn’t imagine being married to myself while I do my best to keep up and most days I suffice the norm. On days like this I feel as though I am more of a burden with my short fuse and lists of physical complaints.

My husband is out and my children refuse to listen, I ponder the thought is it me or them? Am I creating my own storm? I don’t want to answer little endless questions today or repeat myself twenty times I want to get lost in my own thoughts that eventually turn into sleep.. I want to sleep this day away and for tomorrow to come. I don’t want to feel sick to my stomach as a result of too much coffee, I don’t want to go to work and feel the same sleepiness I felt last night. I want to have a good day.

The only thing left to do is pray and get through it. Tomorrow I am off and will sleep all day do to exhaustion, this isn’t forever one step at a time.

Author: grace2fight

on the journey of healing

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