Finding my Free…

I spent a good 40 minutes reading Joyce Meyers new book out loud with my husband. For the Rodriguez Family this isn’t anything like our typical evening. The book  was a gift for my birthday from my husbands ex, my very good friend Megan. Yes we are not your average family and no i didn’t no her or my husband prior to us meeting in 2010. She was a part of his life through there two son’s so i excepted her into mine not as the Ex but as my friend. The book is what I would call God’s version of Cognitive Therapy. This morning i was renewed. Bit’s and pieces of my dreams flowed through my mind. My dreams were  of forgiveness, in my dreams the ones who were once so close to me that have hurt me in one way or another where with me and I was hugging laughing and talking to people it was as if i was watching this party so to speak. Last night I fell asleep thinking about the chapter i has read and prayed until i drifted off. Life is beautiful mornings have always been to me the most beautiful part of the day the sunrise i love it. But i have limited my life to them because i hate waking up. This morning i could smell the fresh air the moisten dew on the patio the things i normally miss due to creating the Rush Rush let’s hurry out the door mentality. I deprive myself of my free. Our serenity our free it lives in us. Some people are fortunate enough to have discovered this and live in there own free and serene lives. We look at them on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter with envy because we think they have it all. If we think about what we want truly most of the time it’s something totally different. For me all the money in the world isn’t going to make me happy. The freedom i want is from my own self generated worries. I want to stop surviving and start living. I beleive whole heartedly that God has a plan for each of us, however it is our choice to trust and follow. How do we know if we are headed in the right direction? The bible, christian music and people. He speaks to us through others and once you are keen on hearing him your whole world changes. Today i am free… today God is alive inside me and no mental illness no bad day at work nothing is taking away my free..

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Author: grace2fight

on the journey of healing

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