Life has been going ok, I’ve been able to control “most” mood swings. The ones I can’t are the ones that feel so real and so consuming in that moment nothing can convince me other wise. That place is lonely and dark. They have be believing that I am always the giver never the getter they make me tell my husband hurtful things in moments of anger because I believe in that moment that he doesn’t care about me. That there’s no way he loves me because love should be like “this ” my version of love holds more value and depth then his. I look back now and think God I’m crazy. I am grateful for one spontaneous episode in a month that is a miracle. The next day I was fine a little hypomania but that was fun. Today I’m just Jessica. My moods are less and less and I am trying hard to remember what I’ve learned from cognitive therapy. Regardless I love who I am, I am a fighter, I don’t give up. I love relentlessly and live to love and help humanity not hurt. I’m on most days a awesome mom wife and person. I can say that today and know it is true. My disorder doesn’t define me. My character does and my character is one to be proud of.
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